Help and Enable get confused in my head. For years we rationalized that our boys appreciated what we tried to do for them to improve their opportunities. In their late 30’s do they admit that their inattentive, compulsive brains only learned when it was too expensive, financially and emotionally to repeat the same mistake, when we shutdown the game.
Starting a business with them for them to operate, I thought was a part of the American dream. I guess I was forgetting my place as a first generation educated Black woman. I was supposed to be home stretching my husband’s salary and nurturing my sons to be 2nd generation educated Black men. But my parents’ sacrifices and determination and Wellesley College convinced me that hard work meant being wife, mother and successful businesswoman. And it meant creating a legacy for our sons.
PARENTS: When has helping crossed the line to enabling your adult children?